Progression and Pain

How are you? The question I’m asked over and over again, each and every day. I don’t mind answering how I’m feeling, its a completely normal thing to ask, but let me explain what okay actually means. How are you? Me “Better” Better can mean so many different things. This past week I went from a 10 to a 8. Yeah I feel better but far from the better we all associate with the word better. We spend so much time sometimes trying to explain how we are feeling when to be honest its no easy task. Am I ever okay? No. I have cancer. But I am okay because when I’m feeling up to it I choose to be OKAY. Man is this hard to explain. This is where positivity and determination tend to get mushed into one meaning. Am I the super positive wonder woman? Or am I a 6 on the scale and I just want to make the most of it because someday I’ll be a 10 again. I was dreading Tuesday because I thought that I might be developing a reaction to my chemo, but Monday came and so did the pain. We don’t know why or whats going on with me, but cancer, health and life are hard to have all the answers to. Monday I felt the tightness in my liver, hours later the spasms crept in and by Monday afternoon I was stuck in bed afraid to move. Tuesday was suppose to be chemo day but it turned into how can we try to help Larissa’s pain level get to be a 9 a least. Wednesday the pain medication is finally kicking in and I could say I was finally an 8 and ready for chemo but my nausea spiked. Usually you hear of people throwing up from chemo but I was throwing up right up until chemo. Thursday I sat on my computer on the couch all day unsure what to do other than get caught up on computer stuff. I felt ironically better. What is better: 7 Life with cancer is no walk in the park and describing it is a very challenging word hunt! A part of cancer is being sick, so being under the weather shouldn’t surprise anyone. But how do we really feel, well better technically but still in bed. by Larissa Gionfriddo Podermanski, Metastatically Speaking, February 2018 ***

Yesterday I heard the dreaded words of progression. Of course it’s sad & scary. It’s never what a thriver would ever hope to hear. But for some reason the saying “that’s just how the cookie crumbles” pops into my head. I’m sure it’s commonly used to work it into cancer (lol). But now it’s a thing! Instead of basking in the bad news I’m going to set up a small vision board activity to envision my future. I don’t have to envision decades but I can envision a prosperous and adventurous 2018! (If cancer agrees or not)

***

I recently experienced how emotionally draining cancer can be. I normally try to be kind and see things from other people’s side but when you’re at your lowest keeping yourself together is extremely challenging. Positivity can get you through a few days but at weeks your frustration & anger can overcome you. When your friend battles something like this let them vent, let them be angry, try to listen because we can’t expect others to really understand. Listening and not taking it personally is a gift to us. Being trustworthy (we might not want everyone to know how you are at your weakest) and when you get a friend like this... who can help you through your hardest times… it is the ultimate gift!

by Larissa Gionfriddo Podermanski, March 2018

Veterans and Mental Illness

On a sultry June morning in our national’s capital last Friday, I visited the Vietnam Veterans Memorial . Scores of people moved silently along the Wall, viewing the names of the men and women who died in that war. Some stopped and took pictures. One group of men about my age surrounded one name for a photo. Two young women posed in front of another, perhaps a grandfather or great uncle they never got to meet. It is always an incredibly moving experience to visit the Wall. It treats each of the people it memorializes with respect. There is no rank among those honored. Officer or enlisted, rich or poor, each is given equal space and weight. It is a form of acknowledgement and respect for which many veterans still fight. Brave Vietnam veterans returned from Southeast Asia to educate our nation about the effects of war and violence. I didn’t know anything about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I entered the Connecticut Legislature in the...

Scapegoats and Concepts of a Plan: How Trump Fails Us

When a politician says he has “concepts of a plan” instead of a plan, there is no plan. And yet, that’s where we are with Donald Trump, nine years after he first launched a political campaign promising to replace Obamacare with something cheaper and better, nearly four years after he had four years to try to do just that. And fail. Doubling down during Tuesday’s debate, he claimed he had “concepts of a plan” to replace Obamacare. Really? He’s got nothing. In fact, he sounds just like Nixon sounded in 1968, when he claimed he had a “secret” plan to get us out of Vietnam. That turned out to be no plan at all (remember “Vietnamization?”) and cost us seven more years there and tens of thousands of lives. The Affordable Care Act, about which I wrote plenty in this blog a decade or more ago, wasn’t perfect. But it was a whole lot better than what we had before it – and anything (save a public option) that has been proposed since. Back then, insurers could deny coverage because of pre-exi...

Anxiety and the Presidential Election

Wow. Could the mainstream media do anything more to raise our anxiety levels about the 2024 election? And diminish or negate all the recent accomplishments in our country? Over the past three-and-a-half years, our nation’s economy has been the strongest in the world. Unemployment is at record lows, and the stock market is at record highs. NATO – which last came together to defend the United States in the aftermath of 9/11 – is stronger than ever. Border crossings are down. Massive infrastructure improvements are underway in every state. Prescription drug costs are lower. We finally got out of Afghanistan – evacuating more than 100,000 U.S. citizens and supporters – with just a handful of deaths. Inflation – which rose precipitously in the aftermath of the pandemic – has come back down, and prices in many areas have even begun to decline. And yet, all the media commentators can talk about these days – and they are not “reporters” when they are clearly offering opinions to frame the...

Our Health Policy Matters

Search This Blog