Mental Health and MBC - Living with Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety. Mental health. Depression.

Am I exempt from stress, anxiety or any other type of mental health issues? No -- I wish, but no.

I grew up surrounded by people struggling with their mental health. My brother Tim was diagnosed with schizophrenia at a young age. Honestly, I didn’t understand the illness, and so was often annoyed that my older brother was doing older brother things like stealing my diary or crashing my date nights. My list of examples of Tim being Tim could go on and on.

I have also have had friends who came back from war with PTSD (and some could say I have PTSD too).

It doesn’t matter how positive you try to be, or how much faith you have. Dealing with a terminal illness can present several mental health issues and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. People ask me all the time how I stay positive. The answer -- is I don’t know. Yes, I keep my head up, I keep moving forward, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where I feel like I’m drowning in a sea I can’t escape. It doesn’t mean I don’t need to take something to help me calm down. It doesn’t mean I figured out a magical pill that makes me feel better. I have found my own natural remedies that help me, but I’m not superwoman.

When you learn you have breast cancer, followed by appointments with tons of doctors followed by more and more bad news, it’s a wonder you don’t see more posts about mental health issues running rampant in our cancer communities. But just because people aren’t talking or writing about it doesn’t mean that’s not the case. In those first months, when you’re reeling in shock, trying to deal with the news that you have cancer and what it’s going to take to treat it, you lose a piece of yourself to constant fear. When you wait hours or days for your scan results – which dictate what the next three months of your life will be like (will you be able to relax or will you have to suffer a more aggressive treatment?) -- you might experience symptoms of PTSD. You are overwhelmed by fear and the vivid memories of your first experience hearing life-shattering news.

Growing up I kept a journal that my brother Tim would repeatedly steal. I was told it would be therapeutic to journal, and it definitely is, especially now that I don’t have to fill up my journal with “Tim, if you’re reading this … ” lol. Living with cancer is extremely mind-blowing and hearing people urge you to be positive becomes overwhelming in itself. We need our support system to support our down moments too. If you see I’m on the edge of a mental breakdown, maybe say, “Hey, want to yell at me? I won’t take it personally,” or “Want to go find a punching bag and punch out your frustrations?” Or “Look, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I can’t begin to understand, but if you want to lay it on me from wherever in your mind you are, I’ll keep my ears open.” (We might not want to start from Day 1 of cancer, especially in the metastatic world.)

We don’t expect everyone to understand where we are coming from. Maybe we want time to be normal and not think about cancer. But just because we look like we are fed up with treatments or side effects doesn’t mean we have thrown in the towel. It could just mean we are tired, and saying “Be positive” can feel like you are saying to us, “You aren’t trying hard enough.” Trust me, living with metastatic breast cancer is hard work, even if I make it look easy.

by Larissa Gionfriddo Podermanski, Metastatically Speaking, February 2018

For the Health of Our Community, Can We Plan More in Advance?

Mayor Florsheim has proposed a budget with a 2.7 mill increase for the coming fiscal year. This will mean an increase in taxes of approximately $500 per year for a home with a market value (not an assessed value) of $250,000, with larger increases for many homes in our city. While I appreciate the time and effort that went into his budget calculation, like many people I don’t believe that this is a sustainable increase on top of the increases of the past few years. What I appreciate even more is that the Mayor has invited members of the public to work together to offer their own perspective and suggestions to the City Council. In the past few weeks, I have offered several short-term suggestions, including a job freeze, a search for an alternative health insurance provider, and greater advocacy at the state level for fairer PILOT funding for Middletown. As an example, the Mayor’s budget proposes $77,800 for a Grantwriter versus zero from the Finance Department. Maybe we wait on that? ...

Veterans and Mental Illness

On a sultry June morning in our national’s capital last Friday, I visited the Vietnam Veterans Memorial . Scores of people moved silently along the Wall, viewing the names of the men and women who died in that war. Some stopped and took pictures. One group of men about my age surrounded one name for a photo. Two young women posed in front of another, perhaps a grandfather or great uncle they never got to meet. It is always an incredibly moving experience to visit the Wall. It treats each of the people it memorializes with respect. There is no rank among those honored. Officer or enlisted, rich or poor, each is given equal space and weight. It is a form of acknowledgement and respect for which many veterans still fight. Brave Vietnam veterans returned from Southeast Asia to educate our nation about the effects of war and violence. I didn’t know anything about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I entered the Connecticut Legislature in the...

Kamala Harris's Very Good Medicare Home Health Care Plan

My wife Pam and I bought private long term care insurance about twenty years ago. It’s a pretty good deal. For about $100 per month, we will someday – when we need it – be eligible for up to $200 a day toward either home health care or nursing home care. Add it up – it could save us hundreds of thousands of dollars as we age. I’ve been a big supporter of long-term care insurance since I was a Connecticut State Legislator in the 1980s. But to be honest, it’s never quite gotten the traction it should have. One of the reasons is that when people are young and healthy, they aren’t thinking about what their long-term care needs might be thirty or forty years down the road. But that’s when premiums would be most affordable. The bigger problem is that it’s really hard for insurers to predict the costs of long-term care that far in advance, too. The costs of care often far exceed those that are estimated way in advance. As a result, the policies that Pam and I have aren’t even offered anymore...

Our Health Policy Matters

Search This Blog